How often do we look at a situation and quickly perceive some key element? Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called "Blink", where he discusses the idea that we all have a portion of our brains that grabs a thin slice of a situation and makes a snap judgement. Since this ability is common to human nature, perhaps those of us who are inordinately successful have taken the time to hone this ability.
A silly example:
I am not a clothes snob. When I was a kid, I wore what my mom bought me. When I was a bachelor, I wore whatever didn't stink too badly. Now I'm married, so I wear what my wife hands me. It's a little embarrassing how little thought I put into my wardrobe, but it's just not that important to me.
And yet...
I still have favorite shirts. I still have certain dress slacks or ties that I really enjoy wearing. When I find the right pair of boots, I wear them into oblivion. But I stink at choosing them, since about 85% of my wardrobe doesn't fall into those categories. I wonder if I didn't correctly thin-slice during the minute and a half that took me to decide to buy the shirt/slacks/boots?
Back to the title. Having a baby has reminded me just how many elements of the human existence aren't unique. They're significant, but not unique. The choicest experience of my life was being there for my son's birth. But there's 6 billion people on the planet right now...birth is not unique. Sometimes we step into a situation with co-workers, squabbling children, feuding aunts/uncles, where we quickly know what the right thing to do is. The trick is this: everyone else sees it too. They may not be willing to say it, they may actively speak or act against it, but right is still right.
What does it take to have the courage to say what everyone sees?
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In my opinion the only solution to this problem (saying what you see) is to utilize the Holy Spirit, He knows what the person needs to hear, He knows the right timing. Saying things in the right manner and at the right time for the other person is paramount in accomplishing the goal of helping. I've put my foot in my mouth so many times and unnecessarily hurt others when that wasn't my intention, this is the difficult lesson I've learned. Also to be willing to receive such insight from others, funny enough it helps them to be willing to hear you. Two way street and all that. I'm enjoying all your posts!
ReplyDeleteI agree that there are many common elements that comprise our humanity. But I feel it is folly to think others see what you see (if that is what you are saying). It seems to me that if 50 people go to a party, then there will be 50 different experiences and 50 different opinions as to how good or bad the party was.
ReplyDeleteNote: I'm horrible at seeing my own short-comings, and even worse at hearing about them from someone else.