Self government begins as we accept that our desires, appetites, and passions must be kept within boundaries. This is actually self evident, everyone places boundaries on their desires. The only question is where you set the walls. Even an addict places boundaries on their behavior. Even a crack addict won't often take a hit in front of their infant, their spouse, in church, etc... instead they create habitual patterns that both reinforce and privatize their behavior.
Don't curse the habits that reinforce your addiction. These habits are actually GREAT news for someone seeking to genuinely become free of addiction. It is my experience that since our brains learned the new behaviors that pull us into the funnel, we can replace those habits and learn new behaviors that keep us free.
Successfully changing those boundaries is built on the premise that you will accept the walls that you put up. In order to be governed by walls, you must consent to be governed. For someone who refuses to accept their own walls, family and society must work to contain them...hence the phrase "under arrest", literally that their movement without walls has been arrested.
Don't curse the habits that reinforce your addiction. These habits are actually GREAT news for someone seeking to genuinely become free of addiction. It is my experience that since our brains learned the new behaviors that pull us into the funnel, we can replace those habits and learn new behaviors that keep us free.
Successfully changing those boundaries is built on the premise that you will accept the walls that you put up. In order to be governed by walls, you must consent to be governed. For someone who refuses to accept their own walls, family and society must work to contain them...hence the phrase "under arrest", literally that their movement without walls has been arrested.
Some people refuse to accept the adult responsibility of maintaining their own walls. When this happens, sometimes a spouse or a family member steps in to act as an external wall. When a person has abdicated their own walls and a loved one attempts to be those walls, it poisons the relationship and causes grief to all parties. Loving support from family and loved ones is an entirely separate thing.
Summary: all desires have walls. We choose to set those walls, or else others set them for us. By accepting that walls are both real and that we can choose new ones, we begin to set the path to freedom.
Summary: all desires have walls. We choose to set those walls, or else others set them for us. By accepting that walls are both real and that we can choose new ones, we begin to set the path to freedom.
This is so true. It is extremely difficult to try to help someone who isn't willing to help themselves. I ran into this all the time as RS president. As much as we give love and support and try to create situations that encourage change and so forth... only the INDIVIDUAL can truly make change happen for themselves. It lies within their power (assuming they include the Savior in their efforts to change). It is the adversary who wants us to think we are powerless (or that it is someone else's responsibility to "fix" it).
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