My wife and I have been fighting recently over time and priorities. It drives us both crazy that our house is not better organized and our days are filled with errands, yet our to-do lists just keep growing. One of the things that we realized tonight is that before we had a child and before I became serious about my career we had a lot of slack time. We would use this time to play catch-up on our errands and cleaning the house, etc. Much like the strive/indulge cycle, our works were sporadic and built around play time and inefficiency. We got away with it because of the slack time. Now that the slack time is gone, the pain of our inefficiencies is driving us both crazy, and so we fight.
If you have to carry a bowl full of hot soup, you're more careful if it's filled to the brim. Just because you can get away with swinging the bowl around willy nilly when there's hardly anything in there doesn't make the slop any less sloppy. To put it another way, pain is God's mechanism for teaching us incorrect behaviors. The more we fill in our Funnels and start to build Spires, the more painful slop becomes.
And that's a good thing.
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When we got Gavin we wondered what we did with all the free time we had before him. When we got the girls we wondered what we did with all the free time we had with only one child. As they grow older we'll probably wonder what we did with all the time we had when they were young. Then they'll move out and we'll miss it all. I guess we can only identify/ focus on what matters most and let the other stuff fall through the cracks.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to see you expressing your frustration.